


Control

by Beth_2302



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Cheating, Control, Dom/sub, F/M, Fluff, Light BDSM, Season 9 Spoilers, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22889098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_2302/pseuds/Beth_2302
Summary: After Dean and Sam’s fight on the bridge. Where is Sam’s first place of refuge?AN/ -this still needs editing properly. Obviously none of the characters are my own. Enjoy!!
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Reader, sam x reader
Kudos: 2





	Control

Sam lent against the side of the bridge. The bridge wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but it was dingy, that coupled with the dark that had fell upon the sky, it seemed fitting that this is where the boys would have it out. This was always going to happen along as Dean was lying to Sam. Dean knew this but as always thought he was taking one for the team, a martyr for the cause. Dean did not want to be their was itching to just get this fight well and truly out of the way with, ‘well what we waiting for?’ Dean squared off his shoulders and started “Alright then, let me hear it.” Dean was calm and calculated, anger wasn’t going to help although to Dean he hadn’t really done all that wrong, he was the one who was lied to, he was the one who almost lost his brother, Sam… Sam had made peace with dying, to Dean that wasn’t fair on him. 

“What do you want me to say? That I’m pissed? Okay, I am I’m pissed. You lied to me… again.” Sam didn’t reply in anger either, finding it pointless, as it wouldn’t get his point across any stronger, just make him feel as if he was blowing things out of proportion. He tried to reason with himself, that he would have done the same thing were it to be the other way around. He concluded though that were it to be the other way around, he would have seen the greater good In the situation and let Dean self-sacrifice himself. How was it fair that Sam had to stand by and watch Dean constantly chuck his life away, but now that the shoe was on the other foot Sam had to be saved. Dean had to constantly protect him. ‘We aren’t kids anymore,’ Sam thought, ‘I should be able to make his own choices’. Sam had made peace with death, but once again Dean had made a choice for him that he couldn’t die yet. To Sam it was purely selfish and this wasn’t just a temper tantrum.

Dean’s reply was honest, too honest, “I didn’t have a choice.”. To Dean that was true, a fact, it was ingrained within him that Sam had to be saved, no matter the consequence to him or anyone else. It was his family, his blood. Sam’s only reaction was to scoff, the same answer he had given time and time again when Den’s only excuse was duress and necessity. The only thing Sam could think to say was “I was ready to die, Dean” It was simple and true but heartbreaking for Dean. “I know.. I wouldn’t let you die because that’s not in me” Dean said monotonously, it’s true, it was a fact, it wasn’t, not yet. Sam knew this, and he knew where this was going, some long winded show of Dean’s emotions that would paint him out to be a kind of self-sacrificing soldier, that only knows how to protect and serve. For someone who won’t have any ‘chick-flick’ moments, they sure as hell enjoy some angsty moments, when Dean finally decides to talk, even though Dean not talking was the cause of this in the first place.

This was all too much for Sam, he was getting the blame because he wanted to shut the gates of hell, how was that fair, how could Dean see sense in that. Sam had been lied to, tricked, and possessed, yet the guilt treatment was being used on him. He was not being manipulated again, “So what you decide to trick me into being possessed by some.. pyscho-angel”. That was what had happened, so that is what Sam said, it seemed non-sensical to him. But to Dean it was the only option and he would never blame himself for that, being lied to by Gadreel and lying to Sam or not, Dean declared what had happened, “He saved your life.” Dean could not see past that. Sam was getting frustrated, Dean could only ever see the world in black and white, right or wrong, no in-between no room to consider anything but save a life and kill the monster, and no matter what protect family. Sam shook his head running his finger through his hair, he stated, “So what I was willing to die….. and now… Kevin” It was a question for Dean, not direct but leading. Sam was riddled with guilt and he knew he shouldn’t be but he couldn’t help it. Dean could see it in Sam’s eyes and hear the pain in his voice, he did the only thing he knew how to try to comfort his little brother, “No that is not on you. Kevin’s blood is on my hands.” Sam shook his head in disbelief, that had not been the pity that he was looking for, “And that ain’t ever getting clean. I’ll burn for that, I will. But I’ll find Gadreel. And I will end that son of a bitch. But I’ll do it alone.” Dean was calm, even when verbalising what he was going to do to Gadreel. Normal people would flinch at spending their eternity in Hell, and almost everyone would be shocked at killing an angel. But not those boys.

This is what Sam had been waiting for the pity party Dean was about to throw himself, but this time it was different. Sam hadn’t been expected Dean to say that, it through him off guard, “What is that supposed to mean?”. Dean had this all worked out though,“Come on man, can’t you see I’m poison. Sam, people get close to me and they get killed or worse. Youknow I tell myself that I help more people than I hurt. I tell myself that I’m doing it all for the right reasons. And I believe that. But I can’t.. I won’t drag anybody through the mud with me, not anymore.”

If that’s what Dean wanted that’s what Dean would get. Sam wasn’t going to be the one to stop him, not this time. Dean had self-confidence issues, but he blames everything on himself, Sam couldn’t help it this time though he blamed Dean too. It wasn’t the fact that Dean was poison though, it wasn’t. It was because Dean always thinks he’s right, Dean’s way or no way, and he won’t share responsibility, he takes too much on by himself, and will lie when he thinks someone will try and stop him. Sam just wanted a little bit of control of trust, if over anything, just over his own life. With Dean not there he could prove to himself that he could control himself, he’d hopefully stop feeling so hopeless. “Go. I’m not going to stop you. But don’t go thinking that’s the problem but it’s not” Sam shouted across to Dean. Dean stopped walking, confused, “What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean questioned 

Sam realised though, he was kidding himself this was just another power play, Dean would go be the hero, Dean was walking away from him not the other way around. This wasn’t control, this was chilling this was letting Dean do what he wants whether Sam was apart of that or not. What else could he do though, Dean would always be the one calling the shots he was older after all, “Just go.” 

AN/- Just to note there will be another chapter coming soon where the smut will ensue!!😝 


End file.
